One of the less visible effects of narcissistic abuse is the damage it can do to your trust in yourself.
At first, many people focus on what happened within the relationship. The manipulation. The confusion. The hurt. But long after the relationship ends, there can be another challenge waiting beneath the surface.
You stop trusting your own judgement.
You question your memories. You second-guess your decisions. You wonder whether you’re overreacting, being too sensitive, or getting things wrong.
This doesn’t happen overnight.
When your feelings have been repeatedly dismissed, your reality questioned, or your experiences minimised, it becomes harder to rely on your own instincts. Over time, you may find yourself looking to other people for reassurance before making even the smallest decisions.
You stop asking yourself what you think.
Instead, you start wondering what everyone else thinks.
This can feel frustrating, especially when you remember a time when making decisions felt easier. But it’s important to understand that losing trust in yourself is often a response to prolonged emotional manipulation. It isn’t a personal failing.
The good news is that self-trust can be rebuilt.
Not through one big breakthrough, but through small moments repeated consistently over time.
It might begin by paying attention to your own feelings without immediately dismissing them. It might look like making a simple decision without asking for reassurance. It might be noticing when something doesn’t feel right and allowing yourself to take that feeling seriously.
These small acts may seem insignificant, but they matter.
Every time you listen to yourself, honour a boundary, or make a choice that reflects your own needs, you strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.
Self-trust isn’t about always being right.
It’s not about having all the answers or never making mistakes.
It’s about knowing that whatever happens, you can cope. That you can learn. That you can adjust. That you will treat yourself with honesty and compassion along the way.
Healing often involves coming back to yourself.
And part of that process is remembering that your thoughts, feelings and instincts have value.
You may not trust yourself fully yet.
But with time, patience and practice, that trust can return.
One small decision at a time.
